So long din blog lerhs. decided to blog sth here. having intensive chinese these 2 wks. next mon i'll be sitting in the hall taking O level Chinese lerhs. after which, on tue i'll be flying to chiang mai.
maybe you may not see this post bahs. had a quarrel with you just now. i was so stressed up by all ur "RULES" & stuffs. i know you are worried. i understand. but dun add stress to me, pls. you dun wish me to be scared of you for the rest of my life, do you? you really dunno how to care for others. you always show your care in a wrong way. by scolding & reprimanding doesn't show how much you really care but it just makes our mood go down. your "over-worried" feelings for me makes me more dependent on you. cos' whenever i go anywhr or do anything, you'll be thr to teach me what to do. this is not the way for me to grow up (as what you always wanted). one person needs to grow up on its own. through experience. this chiang mai trip, you wanted me to remember all the things you said. but do you know too much pressure, i will not learn how to take care of myself. it's just like i'm just being forced to obey this instructions. tell me nicely the things to take note of. that will do. i'll much appreciate that.
i think never will i make you rest assure that i'll take care of myself. from the way you treat your sis, i know you'll over-protect the ones you love. you dun trust anyone, only yourself. thinking that no matter what we do, we just cant fulfill your wish. thus, getting worried over us. although i'm really blur at times or even ACTING BLUR, but i do know how to take care of myself. sometimes, it's because you over-protect me. i cant be hurt. not even a single scratch. even if i dun think it's a big matter, you think it is. for example, i accidentally hit the edge of a table?and it bled. it's just a small thing. maybe for you it looks big. of cos' i would like you to care for me. asking how i am. but not you having to scold me for my carelessness. i am already bleeding in pain yet you still scold me. i need CARE, not reprimand. sometimes, i wonder is this a blessing or torture?
